How to Handle Imposter Syndrome When Returning to Work

How to Handle Imposter Syndrome When Returning to Work

I’ll spare you the soothing remarks that accompany a return to work. You know the kind of remark  I mean, “Oh, you’ll get used to it” or, “You’ll feel like you’ve never been away!”

Ultimately The Return is filled with conflicting emotions. PR Mums, which is tackling both the practical and psychological routes back to a fulfilling work life, recognise that it’s not simply a case of just stepping back into a job role that has been held open for you.

My own experience was something of a rollercoaster. I worked in the BBC Press Office at the time and I looked forward to returning. My maternity leave had been profoundly isolating and I had always enjoyed my job and had colleagues I loved working with.

However, it was also extremely challenging. I returned to a new boss who I had no relationship with and I was assigned to a “difficult” project that pre-maternity leave I would have said no to. I (wrongly) felt any standing I had previously was gone, and that I had no choice but to say yes to everything. And then there was a high profile company crisis day in, day out for months. And then I was burnt out.

That’s Imposter Syndrome for you. A deeply limiting and unhelpful way of thinking.

However, I learned a lot from this experience, and in subsequent years have worked with hundreds of women returning to work after a career break to look after children. They all have one thing in common, the feelings we have come to label as Imposter Syndrome.

To put it another way, they feel “less than”, that other people have it together and they don’t, that what they once knew, or could do, is now not enough. That they will soon be found out.

My great privilege in coaching so many brilliant, intelligent, high-achieving women who have felt like this is that I was able to see how none of these doubts had any basis in truth.

Imposter Syndrome is not an illness, it doesn’t mean that there is something wrong with you, it doesn’t mean that you are not good enough.

What is does mean is that:

• you are holding yourself to a higher standard than you hold others to
• you are spending a lot of your precious thinking time judging and criticising yourself

• you are doing this because you are trying to serve everyone else around you perfectly
• you are putting yourself at the bottom of the heap, and it’s time to stop

Here are three strategies to take you through those imposterish moments.

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings:

It is completely normal to feel self-doubt in response to a major life transition. Notice those thoughts as they come and go and then recognise them for what they are. They are moments where you are feeling a crisis of confidence during a period of stress or change, they are not the definitive truth of how good you are at your job.

2. Celebrate Your Achievements:

I know this sounds cheesy, and as a PR person used to telling other peoples’ stories it is extremely likely that you feel uncomfortable turning the spotlight on yourself. But it is important to reflect on, and reconnect with, the true level of your experience after a break.  

Make a list, or journal, about what you’ve done in the past, taking particular note of how you feel as you remember just how much you’ve achieved.  

This will remind yourself of the skills, knowledge, and experience you possess, which make you a valuable asset to your workplace. Documenting these achievements can serve as a powerful reminder of your capabilities when self-doubt creeps in.

3. Challenge your assumptions:

This is a powerful tool and I’ve had many clients say this is the one question that turned things around for them. When you feel like that imposter ask yourself this: ‘What assumptions am I making here?’

Keep that question on a post-it by your laptop, save it on the homescreen of your phone and ask it again and again. It is so often the case that we trap ourselves into feeling like we are not enough simply by ignoring the assumptions we have made about others.

As you are reading this blog just try it out now, get a piece of paper and think of a situation where you feel worried about being good enough, then ask yourself what assumptions you are bringing to the table. Follow that up with asking yourself what advice you would give to someone else in your position, and you will quickly get things back into perspective.

By acknowledging your feelings, celebrating your achievements and challenging your assumptions you can navigate imposter syndrome and thrive again in your professional life.

Remember, you are not an imposter, but a capable and resilient individual who is more than qualified to succeed in your chosen career path. Embrace the rollercoaster-ness of it all and believe in yourself.

If you want to talk more about this topic then connect with me on LinkedIn, or you can find free resources on my website.

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